Is Being a Parent Worth It?
Being a parent is the most satisfying and rewarding job. Parenting is the core foundation of a family. A family may collapse if there is no one to care for, love, and support as a parent. The primary purpose of being a parent is to teach children to become socially developed and raise them to be fully functional adults who can take care of themselves.
Parenting can be hard for many people. It is not an easy job. This job needs a lot of patience and hard work to be done. Raising a child from birth to the rest of their life is the ultimate test of patience. And for every new child, the cycle repeats again and again. And even after they are adults, the life of being a parent is not over. Is being a parent worth it?
To analyze that, you need to know what parenting actually means, the reasons for parenting, and what reward is waiting for being a parent. To help you make a quiet decision, let’s find out.
What is Parenting?
Parenting is like teaching. It is a process of raising children by providing them with protection and care and ensuring their healthy development into adulthood. In this process, a child learns morality, honesty, trust, and other virtues of life. From the age of 1 to 5, a child learns the lessons that benefit for the rest of his or her life.
For a regular parent, there are some necessary responsibilities to take. Such as making food, changing diapers, making them sleep, and so on for a newborn. These responsibilities change and become difficult as time goes by. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), there are 3 primary goals of parenting:
- Take care of children’s mental and physical health, and safety.
- Prepare kids to become independent.
- Teaching values that make them humble according to family culture
Good parenting needs to follow these at least to define parenting. If not, then the life of an innocent child will be wasted for good. Not only humans, but parenting can be with animals also. They need care, love, and proper guidance to grow up. A parent must have the ability to take the responsibilities.
Is It Worth Being a Parent?
Before answering that, you should acknowledge the value of a parent. Parenting is one of the most rewarding things that a person can do. But it can also be one of the hardest jobs. Parenting makes us vulnerable to making mistakes and errors as we are there for all of it.
I believe that a parent alone can take care of a kid’s mental and physical health. When you become a parent, you can easily see and understand that being a parent is worth it. To realize that you need to know the reasons for becoming a parent.
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Reasons for Becoming a Parent
Undoubtedly, parenting is a challenge that will test you all the way through your life. But it is also a blessing that allows you to realize who you truly are. Bringing a new life into this world is a big decision. Especially, when you want to give the best life to your child and make them as healthy and happy as you can. Before taking the hard work and preparation to decide to become a parent, you should focus on the positive aspects of being a parent. When you have the right knowledge, support, and intention, becoming a parent can turn out to be the greatest experience of your life. There are a few specific reasons that a person may want to become a parent.
Make a family
People have dreams and desires to build a family. A place where they belong and the place they can call home. This is the most appropriate reason to become a parent. Having your own family can motivate you to more success in your career. To build a better life for yourself, your spouse, and most importantly, your children. If you had an optimistic childhood experience in a stable family, you may want to restore those memories and experiences by living a similar life with your partner and children.
Seeing life as a blessing
Parenting is an honor and opportunity. It is the most remarkable and exciting experience of life. Pregnancy can be a painful process. But having a child is a miracle for both parents. It is a blessing from the universe that is not gifted to everyone. You will find a new purpose and meaning in life after you have your newborn baby. You experience emotions that you never felt before as you become filled with the love and joy that the universe bestows on you. The moment you become a parent, you will see life as a divine gift.
After becoming a parent, your life will be less bothered by your external environment and what other people say or do. You won’t get easily distracted by others and waste your time focusing on things that don’t matter. You start to prioritize your child and family as you realize the true meaning of life.
Experience unconditional love
Parents and children share a unique and powerful bond that goes beyond all other relationships. Parents love their children unconditionally. Regardless of how many mistakes they make or how frustrated you may feel taking care of them all the time.
Likewise, your child will also love you without any limits or conditions as you are their world. The bond between you and your newborn creates intense emotions, fulfillment, satisfaction, joy, and inner peace. Unconditional love is among the most meaningful reasons to become a parent. It is greater than any feeling in the world.
Urge to take responsibility
Sometimes, people feel the desire to have someone of their own. It can be blood-related or adoption. The main point is to have a person who will bring joy and happiness around. This urge comes from many different aspects of life. For example,
If you have a nice home, a good financial flow, and a stable life with a loving life partner, you would think of a little child running around. Especially, women have the urge to make babies in their wombs by the will of Almighty God. It’s God’s plan to have a reproduction by making babies in order to build the holiness of God through the family.
Another way, people want to drive the flow of tradition through the bloodline. In order to do that, they need to make babies. Many tribes across the world maintain a family tradition for this reason.
The Pros and Cons of Parenting
There are many pros and cons to being a parent. These will help you to see the heaviness and the bright side of parenting. Let’s see what those are.
Pros
Overflow of love: You haven’t experienced this love until you feel the unconditional love that comes with parenting. Some people feel it right away. Each day you will love your kid more, and you won’t think it’s possible for you to love them more… but then tomorrow it’s even more.
Test of relationships: Parenting will put your adult relationships to the test. See, who is really there for you? Is your spouse great support for you? If so, then it will strengthen your bond and improve your relationship.
No boredom: Kids are perfect for passing time and you will never feel bored. They will always keep you busy and running. It will be hard to carry on, but also this makes a good and hardworking mommy and daddy.
Always have someone to play with: You will always have someone to share feelings with. Kids are good listeners sometimes. They will listen and learn words from you. They will even reply to your opinion.
Kids will teach you things: Parenting will give you an opportunity to realize really valuable skills like patience, unconditional love, empathy for those less fortunate than them, grit, and determination. A kid between 5 years old is more intelligent than average people. Sometimes they will question you about general things. But think deeply about why they ask.
Make you a better friend: The skills you learn as a parent will actually help you improve adult relationships. You will be able to have a better understanding and become a supportive friend. You’ll become more patient as you have been there and done that as a parent.
You’ll find new meaning in your life: After becoming a parent, your whole existence changes. You will find a new sense of purpose and gratitude for life. You will realize the potential in your kids, understand the importance, and find an inner strength you never knew existed.
Cons
No time for sleep: Parents don’t have time for enough sleep. In fact, a study says that one out of three new moms will only get an hour or less of sleep at a time. And sleep deprivation lasts longer than you might think. It is quite estimated that parents do not get back to a normal sleep pattern for six full years.
Diapers & unpleasant tasks: There are many unpleasant tasks related to kids. Be prepared to clean up vomit, spit up and poop. And that’s just the beginning. Kinds around 2 years old once stuck their hands in anywhere like a poopy diaper and wiped it all over her toys. Things will get so gross that you are tempted to just burn the house down instead of cleaning it up.
You can’t return them: Kids are undoable. Once you have kids, you can’t send them back. That’s no return policy. Whether you like it or not, they are yours to take responsibility. The stability of this decision should not be overlooked.
Kids are expensive: From the food to their clothes and activities – kids can be expensive. They want many things, toys, chocolates, and anything that is colorful. But, the worst part is they do not read the price on it. And when you deny giving them what they want, do you know what happens? They cry out loud. That’s how expensive they are.
No time for yourself and your friends: After becoming a parent, your life is over. It’s not totally over, but over for your friends and yourself. You are not going to have time to do all the things you’ve been doing. Your time will be consumed to get good at prioritizing and keeping yourself organized.
Worry a lot: You do not really have to worry until you have had a child. It’s like you are in a nightmare with the worry of your child. It is more scary than horror fiction.
It sounds silly unless you have kids. Ask other parents you know – what crazy scenarios has your brain planned for simply as you’ve birthed kids?
The rewards of parenting
After all these pros and cons, still, a parent will still be rewarded for taking all this responsibility and hardship. Seeing your child grow up to be a self-dependent young man is amazing.
Loving your kid unconditionally will teach your child to love. In the same way, you will be loved by your child. Being steady in your parenting will result in a rewarding life as a parent. You will watch your child grow up to be a strong, capable person. Your child wins as you succeed. This results as you are the foundation for their success. Knowing that your parenting inspiration created a successful life for your child is the greatest reward of all.
Are people who have kids happier?
Essentially, the study we have suggests that having children can make you happier. Also, it can make you feel unhappy, constantly stressed, or anxious, and so on. After all, it seems like having children is a great responsibility and makes your emotional experiences more intense than if you do not have kids.
Non-parent people have a consistent lifestyle. They do not get the chance to feel all these heartwarming emotions once in their lifetime. They may feel pity for the parenting people. But they feel lonely while at home, sitting alone. So, parents are happier even after all the hardships. This makes a great reward for parents.
FAQs
- What is the decision to take before parenting?
You need to think and observe your situation with all these things before you decide to become a parent. Parenting is not just a hobby. It takes a perfect time to start and prepare yourself. Being a parent might be hard and also a blessing. Few people can have this pleasure in life. So, before you head that way, think about how much it is worth to you. - What age is the hardest to parent?
According to a study on parents, age 8 is the hardest time for being a parent. This time makes it harder as it is a time for being a parent and a child at the same time. - Do you age faster as a parent?
Due to the sleepless nights, endless worries, and persistent temper tantrums, parenting can feel like a booster to gray hairs and wrinkles. Now, researchers at Northwestern University have proven that parents after having children can speed up the aging process.
Final Thoughts
Parenting is a blessing. No one will deny that. To be a parent, you need to understand the rewards and drawbacks. Non-parenting persons can feel the emptiness all at once in their old age. They feel what they have missed is a greater thing in life. They might ignore parenting for all the hardships, but they eventually miss the reward afterward. I hope this article will help you quietly to decide and see the worth of being a full-time parent.
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Maria W. Corley is a family psychology expert dedicated to helping families thrive. With a passion for improving relationships, Maria shares practical advice on Merge Family. Her goal is to make your family feel closer than ever by addressing communication issues and fostering understanding.
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