How to Deal With Joint Family Problems?
Families make our lives better. You can find peace and ease in your family, even though you are going through some hardships. Family is where we belong. But, it is not the same for everyone. Do you think, a family can be a problem?
A joint family is where all the family members live under one roof. This sort of family has more drawbacks than benefits. People of all ages living under the same roof can hamper your privacy, conflict-making decisions, and interference in a lot of things. Financial responsibility can take over your flexibility to spend money. All these problems can slow your life if you are living in a joint family. Then, how to deal with joint family problems?
Well, fear not, every problem has solutions. This joint family problem can also be solved. But first, you need to know the nature of a joint family.
What is Joint Family?
A large number of family members in which multiple generations share the same home is a joint family. This family is also known as a continuous family or extended family structure. After getting married, the family does not split and the newly married couple does not distance themselves. They share a home with the rest of his family and live there with his wife and their children.
In a joint family, the grandparents, father, mother, and kids live under one roof. Every member in such a family system is expected to contribute financially to the common fund, share ownership of household property equally, protect the common priority, cooperate, respect, and support each other, eat the same meals prepared in the communal kitchen, and pay for daily expenses from the common fund.
Joint Family Problems
To deal with joint family problems, you need to know the problems first. As with any family living together, there are bound to be problems, both small and big. Let’s see what those problems could be in a joint family.
1. Privacy issue
Privacy is a big issue and lack of privacy is a common problem among family members who live in a joint family. You can’t always protect your privacy from your joint family because of the number of people you are living with. The kids will ruin your privacy just by playing hide n’ seek. Or you are sharing rooms with other members.
Talking about secrets or fighting over an argument is not the same in a joint family. Family members know everything about all the members of the family and this is bound to bring up privacy issues. Some might not mind it but others might like their privacy to be respected. You will always be surrounded by people and sometimes it can get too much to deal with.
2. Conflict between kids
The majority of joint families will experience some sibling and kid conflict between children at various ages. It is all a part of growing up but it can both the children and other family members.
That deeper issue could evolve into jealousy or feelings of inadequacy that one child feels overshadowed by the other. One child could be influencing the other to keep a secret from their parents like breaking a rule or lying. The cause could also be affecting kids to use their siblings as a way to unload their stress, frustration, or anger.
3. Making decisions in everyone’s favor
A family needs to plan to survive for the future. Not only that, every organization must have plans for the future. Likewise, a joint family also has plans which include every member of the family.
The problem with living in a joint family is even a small decision has to go through and get approval from every member of the house. Particularly, the older member of the family. Whether it is about staying out after 7 at night or a sleepover at a friend’s place. The decisions might not go in your favor all the time because there are a lot of people to think about when coming to a decision.
4. Stress and anxiety attack
Stress and anxiety are common effects of a variety of family issues. Often, anxiety is triggered by an event or a difficult situation that happened long ago. The stress that stems from it leads to further anxiety and creates a repeated pattern.
The origin of the anxiety could be a social issue at school as well. They might not get along with other children at school or have difficulties with their studies. Children often perceive more than they acknowledge and could be reacting to a passing comment from a parent. Talking with your child openly and maintaining trust through communication encourages children to reveal the source of their anxiety.
5. Substance abuse
Family members may abuse alcohol or other substances are often using the activity as an escape mechanism. This can help them to escape from a difficult emotional situation, such as grief over the loss of a loved one, financial instability, marriage conflict, or divorce.
They could be escaping from physical pain, illness, or other health problems. You can take professional help so can able help to break down the deeper issues that lead people to substance abuse and start them on the road to recovery.
6. Financial Responsibility
Now, this is where we all agree that financial responsibility is pretty hard to commit. In a joint family, every member has to contribute and take responsibility to bring food to the table. Basically, the head of the family takes responsibility. Being part of a joint family might make you feel you are giving up your individual sake for the sake of the whole family. This could lead to feeling inadequate or depending too much on other family members.
7. Interference in Parenting
Living in a joint family makes your opinion feel less important. As a mother, you might not get to parent your child the way you want to. As there will be others in the house who will always be teaching you about what to do and what not to do with your baby. But ultimately, everyone will feel like a parent in a joint family.
At the end of the day, people living together will always have some sort of problems. What is important to understand is that a joint family is still your family. Whatever problem you or another member have, you can be sure the family will be there to help everyone out. And dealing with problems together can only make a family stronger and create a deeper bond.
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How to Deal with Joint Family Problems: Easy Tips
Now, these are the common joint family problems that you may face. Living under the same roof will cause you too much pain and anger. Let’s see how to deal with all these problems.
1. Keep your privacy minimal
If you are living in a joint family, you need to be calm with your secrecy. Your privacy is what makes you valuable. You can’t reveal or make a big issue out of it. It is the way to keep your family safe from all kinds of bad influences.
As well for your safety, protect your surroundings with maximum avoidance of getting into trouble. Protect your child’s privacy as well. Make your important useable items out of order. Make other family members think about how you feel about your privacy.
2. Be Humble and kind
Kindness and humility are mandatory in a joint family. A joint family has around 8 to 15 people including grandparents and a few kids. For that what is best, show kindness towards children and be humble to parents. That is the best teaching to solve every problem in a joint family.
In that way, kids will feel free to share feelings like stress or anxiety. Kids are playful and adaptive. They will easily adopt good habits and avoid making conflicts.
3. Respect other’s opinion
There are many people in a joint family. It is hard to come to a point of making a decision. Every individual has their own opinion to establish. In that situation, you need to be calm and wise. Show respect for everyone’s opinion. But highlight which one you like, and make a wise decision that everyone admires.
Do not reject others’ opinions directly. Respectfully respond to their decision and make corrections politely. Keep a good gesture towards every family member.
4. Communication
Communication is very important in a joint family. Solving any problem needs talking and listening. So, talk and listen to any family members. Do not underestimate their problem and listen to them more and more.
Most family problems are the result of miscommunication or no communication at all. Especially, kids suffer from this more. No one listens to them with attention. Be sure that whenever you communicate, give your full attention. Maintaining eye contact and giving feedback help show that you are actively listening to the problems of your family members. Be reasonable to every family member while communicating. Make no exceptions to that.
5. Distancing from the problem
At last, you can stop thinking about these. If you can’t control or have no reason to deal with your joint family problem, then just distance yourself from it. This will only keep you and your state of mind pressureless and free from bad energy. Sometimes, we get into trouble without making any faults or mistakes. That just makes it unfortunate. You can do nothing except overlook your family issue and step aside.
Ignoring is not bad, nor good. It tells you how much you are interested to deal with family problems. You can totally ignore or care about joint family matters. It is up to you.
FAQs
- Why living in a joint family is difficult?
The head of the family is usually responsible for everything in a joint family. That person is a single point of control. In such a way, you might feel dependent on others and that others are controlling your life. Living in a joint family could be difficult if you are not used to being a dependent person. - Why do I feel no connection to my family?
Reasons for the group may be due to intergenerational and personal trauma. The reasons why you feel have zero connection with family is an absence of emotional intelligence, mental health issues, substance use and abuse issues, fragmented problem-solving and conflict-resolution skills, and a variety of other challenges. - What is toxic family culture?
In toxic families, a lack of trust results makes children living in fear of making mistakes. Children can’t think that they need to grow and learn will be nurtured rather than used against them. Spouses in toxic affairs accuse one another of rashness rather than believing the best in one another. - Which is better: a joint family or a separate family?
Evaluation unity and bonding are to joint family provide a higher bond of action unity and emotional stability. Every member is concerned as an individual. On the other hand, a nuclear family has a perspective of mutual love and respect for each other. It offers parental love and sibling connection very strongly. - What are the advantages of the joint family?
If you are living in a joint family, you can be sure that your child will never be bored or feel alone. He or she will always have cousins as his or her crime partner. They will never be depressed about friends as they will always have their cousins to play with. Their bond with cousins will only get better and better as he grows up.
Final Thoughts
Living in a joint family is not a big deal. Perhaps, it is one of the best things about the family. Having so many family members to share food and love is amazing. Even though, there are many obstacles in the path. If you can maintain those tips to make a better approach to your family, you will have the best joy of life, indeed.
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Tyler S. Rios, a parent of two, shares her valuable insights into family life. Her blogs focus on parent-child relationships and navigating family conflicts. Tyler's wealth of experience empowers readers to handle family challenges with resilience and resolution.
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